The Hair
by Crazy Cherries
Summary: Crack-ish. The day should have been perfect, but no, someone had to make Neji suffer. His poor pride suffered the most, it died three times and we fear there will be a fourth. Slight Neji/Ten and Lee/Ten, kinda.


_Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) don't own Naruto. (Cuz if I did, well there would be changes.)_

**The Hair

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**

It was a wonderfully wonderful day in Konoha. It was overly bright, the sky a brilliant blue with not a cloud in the sky.

(Shikamaru claimed he'd gone blind due to that, but others thought it was because he'd caught a glimpse of Karin one day while he was waiting for Ino, but that's another story for another time.)

It was sweltering.

(This caused people to sweat buckets, if you walked around you would see the poor townspeople of Konoha whipping buckets off their brows.)

The grass was green.

(Naruto had spilled paint all over it so it was no longer brown, he claimed that brown was an ugly color that looked like poop, and everyone agreed with this statement.)

And the birds were chirping.

(Well they were until Tsunade, who had a very bad headache got irritated and threw a rather large rock in their general direction.)

All in all, everything was relatively normal.

(As normal as it ever got in Konoha that is.)

When suddenly there was a scream.

(And not one of those frustrated screams that people sometimes have when they're training or…doing other various activities, but one of those full on girly, OMG-there's-a-mouse-that-you-need-to-kill-for-me-because-it-freaks-me-out screams.)

The scream, everyone soon found out, came from Neji, who had woken up, thinking today was a normal day.

(Boy was he wrong.)

He'd gotten up early.

(As always.)

Put on his fabulous clothing.

(Walking around naked was illegal in Konoha, besides did he really want his fangirls to look at him naked? Didn't think so.)

And he was about to comb his wonderfully luscious hair.

(That everyone was jealous of and that no one would admit to.)

When he felt nothing but short little strands, and looking down he saw nothing of his once long luxurious hair. He whimpered and fell into fetal position with his thumb in his mouth. Then he screamed a long anguished scream. Tenten would never love him now.

(Would you? Everyone was after one thing and one thing only, Neji's hair, and now that that was gone, what was left? Nothing, that's what.)

Neji was sure his life was over. Nothing could compare to the hurt he felt right now. Sure he was an awesome fighter, sure he could beat that stupid Uchiha at anything, but he couldn't do that without his hair!

(His hair was his everything.)

It didn't help when Tenten walked in and took a long look at him with her eyes wide, before explaining to him very gently, that until his hair grew back she couldn't see him and that he shouldn't go out in public. She told him not to take it personally, but he didn't look very good without his long flowing locks.

(Didn't he know it.)

She told him that they should see other people for a while, just until his hair grew back, she reassured him, before she turned around and left.

(Poor Neji, first his hair, then his pride, and now his girl.)

Neji wasn't sure if anything else could go wrong, and just to prove it could, there were flashes of photography. Outside his window, Sakura stood with a pretty huge camera and she was getting shots of him like this.

(His pride died again.)

Neji sighed and crawled back into bed, a defeated man. Maybe tomorrow would be nicer to him. Maybe it wouldn't suck so much.

(Because today obviously sucked.)

A little later, he'd heard his cousin talking with her stupid teammate Kiba. Neji, suspecting something was up, went and pressed his ear against the wall.

(He wasn't eavesdropping, really.)

And Neji stood there shocked, his eyes wide, as he learned that it was his sweet cousin who had done this to him. She was now, apparently showing Kiba the locks of hair that she'd snipped from his pretty little head.

(How could she do this to him, sure he was really mean to her usually, but this hurt him. And his pried died a third time. Hinata was supposed to be weak.)

Neji, of course, burst into the room and wrestled his hair from her, screaming demon the whole time. Hinata put up a good fight, but in his fit of insanity, Neji won.

(Kiba just sat there with his mouth gaping open, like a fish.)

He crawled back to his room with his little victory, and taped and glued and stapled his hair back where it belonged.

(The glue didn't work very well, since his locks were so silky.)

The next day, he was once again the envy of the town. Of course Tenten got back together with him. He was very happy about this fact.

(She dropped Lee pretty fast, Lee was second to Neji, and Lee accepted that.)

Everything was back to normal…

(As normal as it got in Konoha that is.)

Until a little girl tugged at his hair and it all came falling down, ensuing another setback for poor old Neji.

* * *

_Have no idea what that is. Completely random._

_Sorry if I offended anyone with the Neji/Ten hate. I actually like them, they're a good couple, I just got a little carried away is all._

_Yes, I am updating my other stories, go read them if you haven't!_

_And remember to review!_


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